They are SO Lucky I’m a Vegetarian…

Bear & Sprite

They look so innocent, don't they?? Don't let those eyes fool you... (Sprite & Bear on a walk a year ago: April 2011)


I just caught one of the [censored word] dogs. Eating the [censored word] stew I was [censored word] making for dinner. Directly from the [censored word] pot. On top of the [censored word] stove.*

(Big sip of wine…)

I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m just a tad more than slightly upset.

I mean, I just dumped a perfectly good dinner – a dinner that everyone in the house actually eats (ha! the dogs too, it seems!) – down the [censored word] sink. I like this stew. It’s delicious. I am hungry. I want to eat stew. This stew. For dinner. Tonight!

(Another big sip of wine…)

Honestly, I was so upset by finding my dastardly little counter-cruisers eating my dinner that (I’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s just between you and me, right?) I actually debated whether or not I should just carry on like nothing happened, heat the stew, and serve everyone dinner as usual. I mean, it’s just a little doggie drool, right? We’re okay with doggie kisses, right??

Yeah, I know. Gross.

(Sip sip sip sip sip…)

I poured myself the wine I’m now gulping – I mean drinking in a very ladylike fashion – while I figured out how to salvage dinner. After a few restorative sips I calmed down enough to open the fridge, pillaged any and all Tupperware containers I found, and managed to put together enough to feed Bill and the three kids.

But I’m still not sure what to do for MY dinner… Do you think dog tastes like chicken?


Hmm… Those dogs are SO lucky I’m a vegetarian.


*No, I hadn’t turned on the heat yet, so all [censored word] dogs were unharmed during the making of this blog post. Not that I’m terribly concerned about their health at this very moment…

14 thoughts on “They are SO Lucky I’m a Vegetarian…

  1. I’m with ya! I think I would have been seriously considering acting like it never happened too! 😉 This made me laugh! Good luck with your dinner . . .

  2. Wine for dinner!
    You’re dogs are like mine! They help themselves to whatever is on the stove, table, counter…the bar of soap in the shower!! I came home to a couple dozen plastic easter eggs all emptied of their contents the other day! Grrr.

    • Yes, trying to cook dinner in an already too-small kitchen has become quite the challenge these days; they’re so big now, they can (and do!) easily swipe anything from the counters, so I’m constantly having to balance bowls and plates and chopped up veggies on top of the coffee pot or on top of the microwave or inside the cabinets!!

  3. I think we may be mom soul mates because everything you write, I think, yesssss that is soooo my life. One of my toddler’s first words was literally “baddog” because it’s almost the only thing I say.

    • Hahahaha! My older kids both said, “No, Blue, no!” as one of their first phrases; Blue was the dog we lost the summer Broder was born, so I’m sure he’ll soon be saying, “No, Bear, no!” and “No, Sprite, no!” any day now. 😉

  4. Sounds like a kitchen escapade that occurred at our house not too long ago. Watch out for the morning after, you may be seeing that stew again. Enough said.

    I love getting to read about your life and family. I feel all caught up with my dear old friend 🙂 I do have one burning question though. What photo editor do you use? I enjoy your pics almost as much as your posts!

    • Good head’s up – luckily Bill’s in charge of yard clean-up! I use the Hipstamatic app on my iPhone. I’m totally addicted!! You need to post some pics of your little ones, so I can catch up on *your* life, now. 😉

    • Funny! I was just leaving a comment on your post about why life should be more like baseball; lovely post, by the way. Yes, they’re pretty silly pups… I’ve decided that in my next life I want to come back as my own dogs… 😉

  5. I feel the exact same way about my cats about 95% of the time. The other 5% of the time, they’re cuddled up to me, purring, and all is forgiven. Until they crap in the playpen again. Then all bets are off.

    • Right?! They’re so lucky they’re cute… and cuddly… and that my kids like them so much (we have two cats as well as the two dogs – all three kids’s first words were “Da” for Dog and “Ki-Ca” for Kitty-Cat). 😉

      • My son hasn’t said anything other than Mama yet … but it is possible that some of his Babytalk has actually been cat language. He sort of meows sometimes. That’s bad, right?

      • Ha! Personally, I believe every household should have at least one “pet whisperer.” And a plumber. And perhaps a lawyer, but that might depend on what kind of holiday parties you throw… 😉

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